She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
