Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
