ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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