She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
