it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
