last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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