No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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