i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
