Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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