question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
