Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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