When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize