Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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