I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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