I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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