I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize