ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
