So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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