I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
