I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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