I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
