I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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