brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So many bounce houses so little time
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
