if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
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Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
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There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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