we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
