Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
