when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize