I look better un-naked...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
