how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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