At least make sure they are 18
Why
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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