She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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