Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
