matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
