Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
