In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
