There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
