That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
