I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
