The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
