funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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