You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
