bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
