Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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