Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
