also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
