Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
