Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
