he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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