Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
