My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
