Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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