Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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