somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
