Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
