The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
