If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
