there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
