I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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