piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
