nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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